


Isn't Something Missing?

by mitunacaptor



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: M/M, Runaway, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-06
Updated: 2012-03-06
Packaged: 2017-11-14 21:44:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/519825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mitunacaptor/pseuds/mitunacaptor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He has all of his pictures laid out.</p>
<p>He's their sacrifice. He's doing this, only for his friends, for Axel.</p>
<p>"You won't try for me, not now. Though I'd die to know...you love me."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Isn't Something Missing?

"Please, please, forgive me, but I won't be home again," are the words Zexion whispers. He has his new prepaid cell phone in one of the many pockets of his cargo pants. He's got a small amount of clothing in other pockets as well, some sweat pants, and a few tshirts. He has a wallet with about two hundred dollars in it, some two hundred more spread through other pockets, and sharpies of every color of the raindow are in yet another pocket. He's ready. And he's sad. He's leaving, yes. Finally going to be free, but he'll miss them. His friends that is.   
  
And Axel.   
  
Not that Axel would miss him. No, that just wouldn't be right would it? So he'd 'packed' and planned and waited. This was it...  
  
Zexion shrugs, unbothered by it by now, and opened his windows. He can't help but hope that, "Maybe someday you'll look up, and barely conscious, you'll say to no one 'Isn't something missing?'"   
  
He stares at the full moon, blinking back tears he shouldn't even have. "You won't cry for my absence, I know." He shivers as a breeze blows in. Zexion turns, grabbing his jacket off of his desk chair, and turning back to look at his bed one last time.   
  
He has all of his pictures laid out. Ones from the freshman class trip, the canoe mid tip and the alligator on the sidewalk. Some from his job, Axel smacking Zexion with a wad of paper towels after he spilled the coffee filter. And so many from summer vacations spent with the group. And in the center is one of Namine's drawings, their first kiss. Him and Axel.   
  
He has the actual photo folded up in his wallet, the creases soft from constant wear and tear over the three years he's had it. He blinks rapidly, trying to not cry. "You forgot me long ago. Am I that unimportant? Am I so insignificant?" And he's on his knees on the floor.   
  
He leans his forehead against his bed, going limp and waiting for wash of depression to pass. He stumbles upright, gripping the edge of the comforter- hah, comforter? A psychotic little giggle bubbles up, and suddenly he's laughing at the stupidity of it all: The ache where his heart is supposed to be, under the numerous red lines and healed scars. The fact that he's practically choking, he can't breathe, and he's not sure if he's laughing or crying or maybe both. "Isn't something missing?"  
  
He's absently rubbing his hand lightly over the left side of his chest, breath hitching out as he cries, scabs pulling painfully with each gasped breath.  
  
He shakes his head, wiping away tears, as he steps back to his window. Zexion awkwardly pulls his jacket sleeves down over his hands, so he can safely climb out over his window sill. And that's it. He's free.  
  
"Isn't someone missing me, even though I'm the sacrifice?" He shakes his thoughts away, finger combing his bangs back into place. Zexion starts walking, crossing the street, and taking a few shortcuts through backyards and between houses.   
  
He's right though.  He's their sacrifice. He's doing this, only for his friends, for Axel. He's sacrificing his own chance at happiness, his friendships, himself. He's getting rid of all of it, and it's all for Axel. This will..help. There won't be anymore of those awkward pauses when mhe makes a comment that accidentally alludes to his feelings. There won't be anymore awkward moments when he steals a touch, and is... silently rebuffed.  
  
"You won't try for me, not now. Though I'd die to know...you love me." Zexion has reached the third district by now. The downtown area of Hollow Bastion. He sees people leaving and entering clubs and restaraunts. They're all in groups, or worse, couples. He pulls his hood up, and his sleeves down, sheilding himself from the cold.  
  
He sighs, and whispers, "I'm all alone."   
The winds carries away his words, unheard.  
  
Zexion slips his hands into his jacket pockets, lacing his fingers together. His pinky brushes the tip of an Exacto blade he'd hidden there.   
  
Axel had found all of the others. But this one, this one was safe. He'd felt badly at first. He'd promised Axel, the only person who'd cared enough to notice, that he wouldn't cut again. "And if I bleed, I'll bleed, knowing you don't care." Not that it mattered if Axel cared or not. He couldn't be disgusted if he never knew.  
  


* * *

  
Axel fumbles around in his sleep, grabbing at nothing. He blinks drowsily, slowly opening his eyes. "And if I sleep, just to dream of you, I'll wake without you there." He sighs, and closes his eyes again.  
  
"Isn't something missing?"


End file.
